I'm going to stay in the wrong

Because I don't know how to get 

through the thicket of my own mind in order 

to reach whatever it is that I'm supposed to do

I'm going to stay the same

and the same

and the same 

until I die of it 

What I feeling is shame

raw, loathing shame

I don't want to be the person I am

I don't want to be the person 

who just did what I did

I am awful 

I am heartless

I am scared

that these things are actually true